A young woman went to her mother and told herabouther life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose? Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire.
Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, whatdo you see?""Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.
The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked,"What does it mean, mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity ... boiling water.? Each reacted differently. The carrot wentin strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, afterbeing subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior,but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter."When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot,an egg or a coffee bean?"Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst , you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
The happiest of people don't necessarily have thebest of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes alongtheir way.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Facts of Life
something interesting i read...
>On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped
> in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out
> of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then
> plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
> > This was the scene of ten years ago.
> > The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid,
> I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were
> steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a
> civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost
> at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
> > Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was
> more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
> > Dew came into my life.
> > It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from
> behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was
> the apartment I bought for her.
> > Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her
> words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife
> said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.
> Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my
> wife. But I couldn t help doing so.
> > I moved Dew s hands aside and said, You go to select some furniture,
> O.K.? I ve got something to do in the company. Obviously she was > unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the
> moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used > to be something impossible to me.
> > However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter
> how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly,
> she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was
> sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched
> TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew s
> body. This was the means of my entertainment.
> > One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what
> will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.
> Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from
> her. I couldn t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was > serious.
> > When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the
> staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide > something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She
> gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
> > Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live
> together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
> > When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I ve got something
> to tell you, I said.
> > She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
> Suddenly I didn t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know
> what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly.
> > She didn t seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me
> softly, why? . I m serious. I avoided her question. This so-called
> answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at
> me, you are not a man!
> > At that night, we didn t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
> wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly
> give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
> > With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
> that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She
> glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart.
> The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger
> one day. But I could not take back what I had said.
> > Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected
> to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of
> divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and
> clearer.
> > A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her
> writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I
> found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
> > She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn t want anything from me,
> but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in
> the month s time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was
> simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she
> didn t want him to see our marriage was broken.
> > She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do
> you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?
> This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me.
> I nodded and said, I remember . You carried me in your arms , she
> continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your
> arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you
> must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.
> > I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished
> to end her marriage with a romantic form.
> > I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
> thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face
> the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made
> me feel uncomfortable.
> > My wife and I hadn t had any body contact since my divorce intention was
> explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when
> I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son > clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought > me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the > door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes > and said softly, Let us start from today, don t tell our son. I nodded, > feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to > wait for bus, I drove to office. > > On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my > chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. > I realized that I hadn t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a > long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine > wrinkles on her face. > > On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being > demolished. Be careful when you pass there. > > On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were > still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The > visualization of Dew became vaguer. > > On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, > where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. > I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. > > I didn t tell Dew about this. > > I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me > stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. > > She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried > quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, All my > dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was > because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because > I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. > Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to > touch her head. > > Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it s time to carry mum out. He said. > To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential > part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him > tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at > the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, > through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck > softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our > wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. > > On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. > Our son had gone to school. She said, Actually I hope you will hold me > in your arms until we are old. > > I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn t notice that our life > was lack of such intimacy. > > I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid > any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew > opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won t divorce. I m > serious. > > She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no > fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can > only say sorry to you, I won t divorce. My marriage life was boring > probably because she and I didn t value the details of life, not because > we didn t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I > carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to > hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you. > > Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed > the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the > office. > > When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my > wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the > greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, I ll carry you out every > morning until we are old. > --------------------------------------------------------
>On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped
> in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out
> of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then
> plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
> > This was the scene of ten years ago.
> > The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid,
> I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were
> steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a
> civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost
> at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
> > Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was
> more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
> > Dew came into my life.
> > It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from
> behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was
> the apartment I bought for her.
> > Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her
> words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife
> said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.
> Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my
> wife. But I couldn t help doing so.
> > I moved Dew s hands aside and said, You go to select some furniture,
> O.K.? I ve got something to do in the company. Obviously she was > unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the
> moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used > to be something impossible to me.
> > However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter
> how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly,
> she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was
> sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched
> TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew s
> body. This was the means of my entertainment.
> > One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what
> will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.
> Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from
> her. I couldn t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was > serious.
> > When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the
> staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide > something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She
> gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
> > Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live
> together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
> > When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I ve got something
> to tell you, I said.
> > She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
> Suddenly I didn t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know
> what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly.
> > She didn t seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me
> softly, why? . I m serious. I avoided her question. This so-called
> answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at
> me, you are not a man!
> > At that night, we didn t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
> wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly
> give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
> > With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
> that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She
> glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart.
> The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger
> one day. But I could not take back what I had said.
> > Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected
> to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of
> divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and
> clearer.
> > A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her
> writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I
> found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
> > She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn t want anything from me,
> but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in
> the month s time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was
> simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she
> didn t want him to see our marriage was broken.
> > She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do
> you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?
> This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me.
> I nodded and said, I remember . You carried me in your arms , she
> continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your
> arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you
> must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.
> > I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished
> to end her marriage with a romantic form.
> > I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
> thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face
> the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made
> me feel uncomfortable.
> > My wife and I hadn t had any body contact since my divorce intention was
> explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when
> I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son > clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought > me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the > door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes > and said softly, Let us start from today, don t tell our son. I nodded, > feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to > wait for bus, I drove to office. > > On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my > chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. > I realized that I hadn t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a > long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine > wrinkles on her face. > > On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being > demolished. Be careful when you pass there. > > On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were > still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The > visualization of Dew became vaguer. > > On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, > where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. > I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. > > I didn t tell Dew about this. > > I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me > stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. > > She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried > quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, All my > dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was > because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because > I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. > Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to > touch her head. > > Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it s time to carry mum out. He said. > To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential > part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him > tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at > the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, > through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck > softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our > wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. > > On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. > Our son had gone to school. She said, Actually I hope you will hold me > in your arms until we are old. > > I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn t notice that our life > was lack of such intimacy. > > I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid > any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew > opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won t divorce. I m > serious. > > She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no > fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can > only say sorry to you, I won t divorce. My marriage life was boring > probably because she and I didn t value the details of life, not because > we didn t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I > carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to > hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you. > > Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed > the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the > office. > > When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my > wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the > greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, I ll carry you out every > morning until we are old. > --------------------------------------------------------
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